Good luck Jonathan Speak Now! By Joseph Edgar

Ex President Goodluck Jonathan

Look what is leadership when your boys are being picked up daily on such a huge matter and you remain silent. This to me is not leadership at all o, this is close to small cowardice. Let me tell a small story. In my secondary school, Command Secondary School Ipaja, we used to go and ‘steal’ the chickens reserved for teachers. Now this was a military school but we were daily fed with measly and tasteless food, so we decided to be raiding the chicken meant for the teaching staff and commandant. This particular day, I had given my troops a verbal instruction to launch the usual raid and move all the frozen chicken to the rendezvous – a village just outside the school compound surrounded by thick forest.

As the leader, I had gone ahead to negotiate with the hungry villagers. The agreement was that their women will help us in the cooking and we shared the chickens into two equal parts. One part for the people who helped in cooking and the other parts for we the ‘thieves’. But nemesis was waiting for us because the commandant had gotten intelligence report that cartons of his beloved frozen chicken were headed towards the Sambisa Forest by a team of thugs led by the ever invincible Joseph Edgar. So he immediately mobilized his troops to set a booby trap and catch us all in action.

What he did not bargain for was my survival instincts. As I was eating, I started smelling their approach. My instincts warned me of danger and I made my move and escaped with my band. We dispersed into different locations and when the hapless troops personally led by the Commandant who was on a rescue mission of his beloved chickens appeared he met only the bones and half eaten Chicken heads we left for them. In anger and frustration, they arrested the villagers and made them confess.

From the confessions of the villagers, they started picking dark, light, skinny and fat young boys. Anybody who fit these descriptions where arrested and taken to the ‘whitehouse’ for severe punishment. Me, the leader had surfaced at the school clinic with complaints of fever and got myself admitted thereby providing for myself a strong Alibi should the investigation ever got to me.

My boys like Dasuki refused to talk but embarked on hunger strike in a bid to escape. But as the days progressed more and more of my boys were picked up and I had to stand up and confess asking the school to release the small boys that I was the one they were after. They gladly arrested me and left my boys. I confessed to taking only two chickens in my whole four years in the school and that I never ate the head of the chickens and that I went into this career because of my hatred of the cold Amala and tasteless beans they served us daily. I pleaded for my release offering my services to them which was to work with them to curb the activities of chicken stealers in the school.

So my dear daddy, this story is for you. Even though the EFCC has come out to say they cannot tie anything to you just yet, I feel that as a serious leader, you should come out and say something for there is no way in this world that Dasuki could have done all these without some kind of authority or instructions. You cannot sit and watch people who worked for your reelection suffer like these while you keep mute. Please come out and take responsibility, take a stand like a man.

Thank you Sir.

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Joseph Edgar is and Investment banker, Award winning writer/author. He blogs fro a satirical point of view at josephedgarng.blogspot.com

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