How To Be A Certified Yoruba Angel

 

1. You cannot have more than a Sidechic.

2. A standard, starched white caftan must be ready at all times and in some cases 2 in case of an emergency.

3. You must be a trained “cock-blocker” to your female counterparts especially during wedding celebrations where they are most vulnerable.

4. You must never own a red cap or pair of shoes or Ray Ban sunglasses.

5. Your mission in life is to attend random events with the task of disrupting you arch enemies plans – the Yoruba demons.

6. List of people you can never sleep with:

– The brides….mother, sister, best friend, sister-in-law, cousins, nieces, best friend of the best friend if the bride or their sisters, mothers best friend or aunty.
You can limit yourself to the brides mother-in law.

7. You must do all within your power to protect the groom from jezebels and karishikas, thots and sidechicks, exes and y’s who want to hypnotize him before his Wedding day.

8. Bumbum and boobs must not be your kryptonite. You must always be in control.

9. You must not have the following CD’s in your car or at home because they lead to PCS ( pant commot syndrome).
They include: Timi Dakolo, Adekunle Gold, Lionel Richie, Drake, Wizkid, Davido, Bruno Mars and the most dangerous if all – R Kelly.

10. You must always carry a spare handkerchief in case a lady need to cry or adjust her makeup.

 

Thank me later….

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