“Does She Really Love Me, Or She Is Just Playing Me?”-Young Blog Reader Who Needs Advise Asks
A very consistent blog reader who leaves comments sent me this today, asking for your advise. Read his story below:
Gud morin aunty Moji,
pls kindly help me beg mdbers to advise me on dis. My name is Abiola nd wil b 22 yrs of age dis feb. I met this girl arnd sept 2013. Dt day I jst sat outsyd polishin my shoe nd gettin redy to go to work when she (olamide) nd her dad came to our house to fight my step mum, cos they wanted my step mum to stop addressing Olamides elder sister by name girl and Olamides’s dad thought my step mum shd call her daughter aunty( u knw dt kind yoruba stuf), I was so surprsed nd astonished dt y on earth wil a dad folow her daughter vry early in d morin to com nd fight ova m older den u shd cal me aunty stuff?
Any way my Dad settled d matter ..nd immediately I fell in lov wit d girl..sum weeks later I asked her out nd we argued ova dt fr weeks. Afta so many weeks she eventually accepted my proposal, nd she warned me dat no1 shd knw abt it. lyk play lyk play , our love strted growin nd we fell in lov wit each oda so fast til d xtent dt almst every around us knew abt our relationship. She introduced me to her younger bros who are btwn d age of 8 to 16 nd dey all lyk me..Olamides mum also knws abt our relationship but she tld her dt she cnt date me cos I came frm a polygamous family. At first I thght it was a joke bt we continued wit our relationshp. In d year 2014 , we bth gt admission to higher institution, I gt admited to a polytechnic in abeokuta nd she gt admited to a university here in lagos. Despite all ds our love was getting strnger nd strnger as we do visit ourselves regularly truout d year 2015. Alng d line she becam pregnant fr me nd dere was no option for her dan to abort it because of school and all that. She aborted it nd our relationship continued. Lest I frgt we ve bth went to few clerics to help us chk it if we cn marry or nt nd dey sed we cn. However she kept tellin me we cnt marry. I later entered into a covenant wit her using the Quaran so as to tie ds relationship down, and our love affair blossomed. Late last year, we had issues, and broke up. She dated a guy afta we brk up but it didn’t work and we gt bk together. .she tld me she abandoned d guy nd I belived cos I also saw d evidence. We’ve made so many sacrifices for each other that I can’t say here that has also strengthen our love.
I later introduced her to my parents nd dey all supported the relationship. She also took me to her grandma nd she gave us her support bt sed dere is ntn she cn do f her parents don’t give their support. We continued dating and things seemed ok until jst few days ago when she called me nd strted crying nd tellin me dat we cnt marry dt her parents wil not suprt it..I evn tld her dat I’m pursuin to travel abroad afta my ond nd it is possible we liv dere if tins work out like i’m planning. She refused and said that all dt has hapened btwn us has bn destined dt we cnt marry. I was heartbroken and devoted becos dis girl is my life, she is the air I breathe. All my friends has already warned me abt her dt we cnt marry dt we ar jst teasing each other bt i didn’t listen. I have been begging her and asked her to reconsider bt she sed no..d last word she said to me is that we shd brk d covenant nd she agreed to com to my place at abeokuta arnd march to brk d covenant nd also fr d last tym. Bt later dat not she came again and tld me dt its hard to leav me me, and she mentioned all the pain she went tru durin d abortion nd all dt. She then said again dt we will gt married, dt wen is tym fr her to show her husbnd to her dad she will just get pregnant for me nd with dat dey wil hav no choice dan to accept. I was so happy nd vry excited.
She however insisted that wen she comes to Abeokuta arnd march , we shd break d covenant.
MDBers, please is playing me and tryin to be smart or does she truly loves me?
By d way m still doing my ND2 nd she is in 200level.
Guys, please advice Abiola and try not to judge or be cruel. Thank you.
Hmmm, verh hard one oo MDB
The both of you are priceless piece of shit. Nigga face you studies, pussy face your studies too. Fuck fake lust love.
This guy is stupid and devilish, how could he tie a destiny down because of his selfish interests? There’s no force in love, women are like shadows the more you chase the more they move away. If she loves him she will eventually comes to him without one nonsense covenant . Break the covenant and let the event takes it’s natural course.
No be small.
Without being judgmental we folks should refrain from getting into this covenant thingy all in the name of relationship. I’m saying this cos I wonder how you are going to ‘break’ the covenant. You just don’t break covenant- especially if blood is involved. And even if it is a mere covenant-vow, is not just breakable… that is why the religious book- Bible is against divorce. I don’t know about the Quran sha. So I wish you the best on that.
Does she love you? Yes- most likely…considering. But would she marry you? Not likely. Or else she wouldn’t want the so called covenant broken anyway. Plus she might not want o choose you over her parents desires. It may not be easy for her. And I must admit here that, those of us from a polygamous homes would appreciate a monogamy home better because we can testify it’s not the best. So, that you are from such a home doesn’t mean anything. The parents may not just want you for a son-in-law.
So, bro, if she wanna break the covenant- if it is breakable without any repercussion- let her break it. You are a young chap with a bright future ahead of you. Keep your fingers crossed and expect the best… she is already sampling one or two other relationships while you are still playing devotion. Shine your eyes well well… she may fly away anytime once the covenant is broken.
You can find another girl that will love you and whose parents would adore you.
No dulling!
No be small. Without being judgmental we folks should refrain from getting into this covenant thingy all in the name of relationship. I’m saying this cos I wonder how you are going to ‘break’ the covenant. You just don’t break covenant- especially if blood is involved. And even if it is a mere covenant-vow, is not just breakable… that is why the religious book- Bible is against divorce. I don’t know about the Quran sha. So I wish you the best on that. Does she love you? Yes- most likely…considering. But would she marry you? Not likely. Or else she wouldn’t want the so called covenant broken anyway. Plus she might not want o choose you over her parents desires. It may not be easy for her. And I must admit here that, those of us from a polygamous homes would appreciate a monogamy home better because we can testify it’s not the best. So, that you are from such a home doesn’t mean anything. The parents may not just want you for a son-in-law. So, bro, if she wanna break the covenant- if it is breakable without any repercussion- let her break it. You are a young chap with a bright future ahead of you. Keep your fingers crossed and expect the best… she is already sampling one or two other relationships while you are still playing devotion. Shine your eyes well well… she may fly away anytime once the covenant is broken. You can find another girl that will love you and whose parents would adore you. No dulling!
Nyc 1 jawe..I suprt ur comments
U have spoken very well…
Moji as much as I’m trying not to be mean and cruel, this story is unbelievable! Like wtf? Should marriage be the priority of a 22 year-old and a girl who is probably younger? And all this talk about ‘covenant’ n ‘praying about it’, at what age is all this (tojubole) Notorious Oloun? Moji so much is wrong with this story biko.
Meanwhile, young man read this carefully, while ure in Abeokuta suffering from childish infatuation that girl is in Lagos having fun and has moved on with her life. You should break the stupid covenant and move on. Focus on making something out of your life, travel abroad to study or further ur education like u suggested. If maybe five years from now u still both feel this way about each other (which I doubt) then u can start walking marriage and looking for support for your relationship. For now get ur head out the clouds n move on!!! Gosh!
Hmmmm….pple u dnt judge wat u dnt knw..I jst pray one of u shd also b in dat guy shoe den u wil knw wat it takes to love nd true meanin of lov..
Jst passin by sha
Óró yì sò síní lénu, ò bù yò sí, ìsÒ óshé pànlà, ìyò óshé tú dànù… meaning it’s complicated…
Abiola I feel your pain bro, first love is always the hardest to let go, but sometimes when you love someone with all your heart, you need to set them free, and if they belong to you, they’ll definitely comeback.
“It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday”
– BoyzIIMen
I know @Boss and @Lionheart comments may seem harsh and heartless but the truth is Right now the most important thing for you is your studies, cos that will determine your future. It’s obvious you’re not concentrating on your education, you’re so distracted, and it’s so obvious by the message you sent Moji, it so hard to read, and going through it I was wondering if you’re gonna make it through to your HND.
One thing you need to know is if you mess up your grades it’s gonna affect your job application in the future, and in this employment market polytechnic graduate are as good as unemployed #Goner not to talk about the ones with bad grades.
As much as I don’t believe in superstitious mumbo-jumbo, I’ll advice you break this vow and move on with your life, cos it’s obvious this relationship is hazardous to your spirit, soul and body, you need to save yourself before it’s too late. She can wake up tomorrow and start a relationship with someone else and if you invest everything, every fibre of your being into this, it may destroy you psychologically, so please get it over with before it’s too late, cos it’s obvious she’s not into this relationship like you, and in the end you’re gonna be the biggest looser.
#WakeUp #Sòji…
But love is blind and lovers cannot see the pretty follies that themselves commit…
– William Shakespeare (Late 1590s)
Love look not with the eyes but the mind
And therefore it winged cupid painted blind…
– William Shakespeare (1595-96)
I hate your your tone.
First of all he shld focus on his studies see how he writes at age 22 and wats all des abt covenant dats hw som ppl tie demselves down. Any way young Abiola it’s beta u sit ur gf down nd hv a heart to heart let her tell u her mind nd ul knw d way forward frm der. Focus on ur education nd try to b a successful prsn
Wtf? Covenant? That’s weird. You shouldn’t even use that to pin down a lady. That’s unmanly and a little bit uncalled for from your part as a man. But once a cow has been milked, there is no squirming the milk back up her udders lols. I can smell lust here, because the guy is yet to taste other products, whereas the lady has tasted another product, so emotionally, the young man is still attached, he still feels he owes her some obligations, whereas, this is a lady that can pull the plug on you at anytime. For instance, if a dangote(someone who is rich) parks in front of her family house to sought for her hands in marriage, she will forget you and your name in a jiffy. So my advice, allow her to roam, and pray she doesn’t gets dented in the process, if she roams and comes back without any dent, she is yours. Dent can come in different directions, she may be coming back with another man’s child, or pregnant or worst (hiv)…….
Then you need to face your studies, you are too young to dwell on marriage things, do the right things first, Get your degree, get a business or a Job that will put food on your table, then marriage. Goodluck.
Terrible writing and grammar! What’s with all the abbreviation and bad English. Learn how to speak and write good English and stop all this trash
Why are most of u complaining abt his style of writing as if you are not familiar with such? If you use the social media well, in as much as such style is not formal, such is acceptable without much complaints as seen here. We are not WAEC examiners!!!
Moji..I feel vry sowi fr d poor boy nd I cn imagine wat wil hapen..bt let’s luk at ds frm ds instance..wich sacrifices hv dey made fr each oda.pls moji I beg u contact d poorboy d story s nt complete..I lov d comments of bomi nd bm dey truly spk d truth..bt as fr d rest stp nailin d poor boy cos u neva wats btwn dem..nd on d covenant issue..they bth did it lyk a child play nd nw it has bcom sumtn else..pls moji contct d poor boy..abeg u dere s stil more to ds .dt he s stil hidin…jst face ur studies nd d sky wnt b ur limit..nd lastly to u anonymous..u prove to knw it all..hw did u xpect d poor boy to write beta dn ds..sum1 who s emotionaly nd mentally disorganized..I doubt f u cn wrt beta dn dis wen u were his age..
Both of them don’t know jack about relationships.They made two mistakes:the covenant and the pregnancy.They should be more concerned about their studies and not intimacy at their age.They should read books on relationships,listen to career and relationship counselors that can help them improve their person first so as to build their career first and understand what ingredients needs to be in place in a thriving and sustainable relationships.If they had gone that way they wouldn’t be treading in murky waters.They forget to know that relationship is everything and that it all starts from us.The covenant should be broken so as to allow them concentrate on their careers.When they are both ready I bet both families will support them.Except there are spiritual or traditional grey areas…
“Guys, please advice Abiola and try not to judge or be cruel. Thank you.”- Moji begged.
Yet 90% of the comments here are crucifying. Nawao.
Seriously we v all pass through this channel before no one should come nd start preaching about facing your study, which with no doubt is a good advice , but from my own point of view there is nothing wrong being inlove nd thinking of marriage at that age ,my advice to the guy is to leave the girl alone ,it may be difficult to do but u just have to do that , love is a wonderful feeling at that age with so much mistake made ,so stay focus nd try to control your emotions or hang out with your friends ,have be in a mess like this years back ,pls let her go .
I have nothing to say about this guy’s relationship problem #wiseupman