Is It OK to Date Your Friend’s Ex? 

More times than not, going after your best friend’s ex is off limits and fully violates any type of code by which you might abide.

But every once in a while, the universe speaks to a person and lets him know that, although it seems wrong at first, there might be a bigger reason your friend dated this person in the first place – maybe it was to connect the two of you, instead. Such a situation, of course, can be tricky, and must be handled with care.

As with most situations, the decision that’s right for you will depend on your personal relationships, morals, values and beliefs.

How long have you been friends and how close are you? Essentially, how much do you value this friendship and want to maintain it? What was the ending of their relationship like? How long has it been since their relationship ended? Essentially, how much tension still exists between them, if any? How well and for how long have you known the ex? Have you known him or her as your friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse? Or is this someone you never met before and you have no experience of being with them together as a couple? Most importantly, what are your intentions? Are you prepared for consequences?

If you really consider your buddy a true friend, then clearly you’ve given this much thought prior to deciding to move forward. Because if you think it’s worth it to pursue a relationship with his or her  ex, it’s important to be honest – with both yourself and your friend.

Before you go any further, you first need to ask yourself if this person, ❨your friend’s ex), is really worth your friendship, because that’s a risk you’ll be taking,if you’re going to go for it, be prepared to deal with feelings of betrayal or anger. The more you can deal with and be upfront with all the web of emotions,the more your friendship has a chance of not only surviving but deepening.

Beginning the discussion with your friend might be scary, at first.You’ve got to get the green light. However, how you ask will make all the difference. Instead of simply asking if it’s OK, you should instead ask a more thought-provoking and conversation-stimulating question. For example, ‘How uncomfortable would it be if I were to date him or her?’

Tell your friend that your friendship is important to you and you want to maintain it. And that you want to bring up something a little uncomfortable. Ask him or her if it’s a good time to talk.Say something like, “I notice I’m feeling drawn to get closer to him or her and I’m concerned about how you feel about that.” 

Let him or her talk and share whatever is on his or her mind. Just listen.Be sure to be appreciative for his or her  time and willingness to hear you out.

Tread lightly with your friend, but remember, you don’t need his or her permission.

While this situation might yield an unfavorable response, it’s unnatural to think it can’t or won’t happen. While it’s best to approach your friend for a discussion prior to making a move or pursuing a relationship,you don’t need to get permission from your friend, either.

Relationships, both romantic and platonic are valuable to maintain, but we have to remember that we don’t own our ex’s. If you are interested in pursuing a friend’s ex, you should be transparent first with your friend, and then with the prospective boyfriend or girlfriend. You don’t want to suprise your friend with a sudden relationship between you and his or her  ex, but you should also remember that the decision is ultimately up to you. If you’ve come this far in thinking about it, you probably know that there’s validity to your feelings, and it’s worth exploring.

Also another major issue is seeing your ex with a friend. It could be hurtful at first but remember to keep the bigger picture in mind. If a person is not destined to be with someone, you should be happy to see that your friend has found happiness, even where you couldn’t because you and your ex clearly weren’t right for one another. If nothing else, how the two of you met and your relationship story could make for a great wedding toast.

Let me know what you think guys, do leave your comments.