The idea of dating a married man is horrifying for many single women. But we all know it happens. It happens more than any of us would like to admit, in fact. So why? This new article explores the reasons a woman might pursue a married man, and it’s quite horrifying.
The piece makes some good points. Married men ARE attractive for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that someone who is taken by another woman is obviously attractive. After all, why else would she want him? But, at the risk of sounding anti-feminist or somehow against letting women have choices, I have to say to my fellow women: just say no.
In one study, 60 per cent of men, compared to 38 per cent of women, admitted to attempting to sleep with someone who was already taken.
Although, men are far less discriminating in their search for sexual partners generally and will pursue women regardless of their relationship status.
Here are the main reasons why more women are attracted to married men:
1. Married people have proved they can commit
If a man’s already married, it’s solid proof he isn’t a commitment phobe and can actually follow through on promises.
If you’ve just been dumped by yet another guy who didn’t want to be ‘tied down’, a man who is married is highly appealing because of this demonstrated capacity for commitment. He’s proved he’s stable and reliable – likely to stick around when the going gets tough.
These are hugely attractive qualities to women who’ve been let down by flaky men who can’t even be relied on to turn up, let alone stand by them in a crisis.
2. If you know him well, you’re seen first hand how devoted he is
If you’re a close friend of the couple, you’ve seen this man in action.
If he’s a nice guy, this means helping her with the dishes, spooning baby food into their toddler’s mouth, looking after her when she’s sick, doing the chores.You’ve heard from her how supportive he’s been and how all-round fantastic he is.
Now,If hubby senses you have a bit of a crush on him, he’s on best behaviour while you’re there – not for dodgy reasons but simply because it’s flattering to be admired.
If he has children, he’s even more appealing: you have proof he’d be a great father.
3. He’s become your confidante
It’s quite common for the husband or male partner of a good friend to become the person who deciphers all the confusing male behaviour a single girlfriend struggles with.
He not only sheds light on what’s going on in his mind, he invariably presents himself as one of the nice guys who would never behave like the b*****d you’re complaining about. It’s very easy to start idealising and wistfully thinking.
4. He doesn’t have ulterior motives
Taken men are also appealing because they’re not just saying those nice things to get women into bed.
His compliments seem more genuine – making him more likeable.
5. Married people are grown-ups
Single dads who share custody for their children are far more likely to be responsible adults than men who haven’t had someone dependent on them. It’s the same logic with married men.
Almost all the statistics on single men vs married men fall in the married man’s favour.
6. Married men are healthier, more likely to be employed and more responsible:
Infinitely more appealing than some guy who still lives at home with his parents, gets his washing done by mum and is still ‘finding his feet’ career wise at the age of 35.
7. Attached people are also more confident and happier.
He’s far less needy and (over) eager to please if he’s already landed a fantastic partner who loves and supports him and confidence has always been magnetic.
8. If he’s making someone we really like and admire happy, he must be special
Ironically, the more you like your friend and the happier you think she is, the more likely you are to see her partner as attractive.That is,If she’s great, then he must be amazing to keep her satisfied.
Interesting study. I think most single women are probably in it for what they can get materially. Period.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to a matter of personal preference.