In a year where the only constant was change (and maybe inflation), our Nigerian celebrities provided a masterclass in the art of staying relevant, even if it meant scraping the bottom of the controversy barrel.
So, grab your popcorn and settle in, as we unveil the 2023 inductees into the prestigious Nigerian Controversial Celeb Hall of Fame:
1. Naira Marley: The Pied Piper of Moral Panic
Naira Marley, the bad boy of Afrobeats, single-handedly kept the National Orientation Agency employed with his steady stream of headline-grabbing antics. From his near-arrest for promoting drug use (cough, cough, I mean, “celebrating our cultural heritage”) to his alleged involvement in the “demise” of his former signee, Mohbad, Naira Marley is living proof that bad publicity is still good publicity.
2. Portable: Zazu Zeh, Wahala Wahala
Portable, the street-hop sensation with a vocabulary that would make a sailor blush, took the industry by storm with his infectious tunes and, well, let’s just say, “unconventional” behavior. From his on-stage brawl with Poco Lee to his penchant for public nudity (because apparently, clothes are optional in the Zazu Zeh universe), Portable has shown us that sometimes, the best way to stand out is to simply be yourself, no matter how bizarre that self may be.
3. Oladips: The Resurrection of the Phoenix (Except Not Really)
Oladips, the rapper who faked his own death in a desperate bid for attention (because apparently, even near-death experiences can’t compete with Naira Marley for headlines these days), has shown us that sometimes, the line between genius and insanity is thinner than a plate of amala. But hey, at least he got everyone talking, right? Even if it was for all the wrong reasons.
4. Davido: Omo Baba Olowo, Omo Baba Multiplying Baby Mamas
Davido, the OBO himself, has proven that fathering children is a hobby he enjoys almost as much as dropping hit tracks. With baby mamas scattered across the globe, Davido is single-handedly redefining the concept of a modern-day harem. But hey, at least his kids will never have to worry about student loans, right?
5. Seun Kuti: The Political Agitator with a Right Hook
Seun Kuti, the son of the legendary Fela Anikulapo Kuti, has inherited his father’s passion for social justice, along with a seemingly genetic predisposition for getting into physical altercations with authority figures. His recent assault on a police officer is a testament to the fact that some things never change, even if it’s the family business of throwing metaphorical (and sometimes literal) punches at the establishment.
6. Moyo Lawal: The Queen of the Leaked Tapes
Moyo Lawal, the actress who had her private moments immortalized on the internet for all the world to see, has shown us that even the most picture-perfect lives can have their X-rated outtakes. But instead of shying away from the spotlight, Moyo has embraced her newfound infamy, proving that sometimes, the best way to deal with a scandal is to own it and turn it into a viral marketing campaign for your next movie.
So there you have it, folks, the 2023 class of the Nigerian Controversial Celeb Hall of Fame. Remember, these are the individuals who dared to be different, who pushed the boundaries, and who, in their own unique way, kept us entertained (and slightly horrified) throughout the year. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go bleach my brain after all that…
