President Tinubu’s Hilariously Honest Take on Brain Drain: “Japa All You Want, We Got Spare Parts!”

Folks, gather ’round for some presidential pep talk, straight from the inauguration stage in Imo State! President Bola Tinubu, bless his optimistic heart, has a message for all those skilled peeps booking one-way tickets out of Naija: Japa all you want, we got spare parts!

“You see the priority in industrialisation. Healthcare will receive more allocation and more attention.

“Don’t worry about what you are hearing about the Japa syndrome, we will train more people and we will supply them self,” he said during Governor Hope Uzodimma’s reinauguration for second term.

Apparently, the mass exodus of doctors, engineers, and tech whizzes ain’t fazing our leader one bit. He’s got a plan, folks, a plan so brilliant it’ll make your eyebrow hairs do the Galala Dance! Just picture it: factories churning out doctors faster than Agege bread, tech wizards popping out like mangoes in July, and nurses sprouting like mushrooms after a good rain. The skill gap? What skill gap? We’ll have skill mountains reaching the sky!

Sure, some might say education and infrastructure are key to keeping talent at home, but who needs fancy schools and working roads when you’ve got the magic touch of presidential promises? Don’t worry about textbooks or internet access, folks, we’ll just train ’em on the job! Imagine learning brain surgery by watching YouTube tutorials on a phone powered by a potato battery. Innovation, baby, innovation!

So next time you hear whispers of “Japa” or see a plane packed with your brightest minds, just remember: President Tinubu’s got your back. He’s got a workshop, a prayer circle, and a whole lot of spare parts. Now go forth, chase your dreams, and if they happen to involve a life raft and a one-way ticket to Fiji, well, hey, who are we to judge? Just don’t forget to send back some coconuts!