The Nigerian Senate descended into mild chaos on Tuesday, resembling a PTA meeting gone wrong, as Senator Abdul Ningi found himself suspended for three months. The reason? Allegations of the 2024 budget being fatter than a well-fed senator after a budget committee buffet.
Senator Ningi, known for his impressive hat collection and even more impressive ability to sniff out budgetary shenanigans, claimed a cool N3.7 trillion had mysteriously materialized in the spending plan. This accusation went down about as well as a bowl of jollof rice at a meeting of dieters.
Senate President, the ever-diplomatic Godswill Akpabio, attempted to mediate with the grace of a flamingo on ice skates. But calls for Ningi’s head (metaphorically speaking, of course) echoed through the chamber.
One senator, known for his flamboyant suits and even more flamboyant temper, even threatened to unleash his “secret stash of garri” if the matter wasn’t settled. (For the uninitiated, garri is a Nigerian staple, but apparently, this senator’s stash held some undisclosed power.)
Thankfully, cooler heads prevailed (though some might argue they were just sweating profusely in the notorious Abuja heat). A three-month suspension was agreed upon, leaving Ningi with more time to knit those fancy hats and contemplate the mysteries of the Nigerian budget.
Meanwhile, on the streets of Nigeria:
Citizens, ever the pragmatists, had mixed reactions.
“Three months off with pay? Sounds like a sweet gig to me,” said one bemused onlooker.
Another chimed in, “N3.7 trillion? Maybe they can finally fix that pothole on my street with that missing money.”
One thing’s for sure: The drama surrounding Nigeria’s budget is far from over. But hey, at least it provides some entertainment during these long Senate sessions
