The wife of the soul singer, Bez Idakula, Bolatito, has warned Nigerians to stop telling women who have miscarriages “sorry for your miscarriage.”
Tito, who is an author, stated this on a micro-blogging social platform, Twitter, as she went further to share how she felt terrible for comforting a woman who miscarried by saying “I am sorry about your miscarriage”
Today I tried to comfort a lady who shared about experiencing a miscarriage. My words to her were “I am sorry about your miscarriage” and these words have been haunting me all day. Why did I refer to it as her miscarriage. It implies she was at fault in some way.
— Tito Idakula (@titoidakula) January 10, 2020
According to her, referring to miscarriage that way is a subtle way of making such women feel like it was their fault.
Saying “your miscarriage” is subtly making the woman feel like she failed by “miscarrying” when it’s been proven many times that miscarriages are not a woman’s fault at all. A miscarriage is something that happens to us and not something we are responsible for.
— Tito Idakula (@titoidakula) January 10, 2020
She went further saying;
We need to stop saying to women “you miscarried” and maybe instead change our language. Maybe say “I am sorry you experienced that” because that let’s them know they are also victims of an unfortunate loss and not people who failed to carry the pregnancy better.
Tito Idakula after the warning, prayed for women who had experienced such loss.
Dear women, I pray even in our language we stop taking the blame for things that are not even our fault when we are also just victims ourselves. Miscarriages, endometriosis, ectopic pregnancies, baby loss, etc.
— Tito Idakula (@titoidakula) January 10, 2020
